I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I want out of life. It’s a new year which usually causes people to re-evaluate their lives. We look back at our previous year and frown at all the things we didn’t accomplish. We worry that yet another year has gone by without us ever really noticing it. There are still so many things we want to do, but haven’t gotten around to yet. A new year seems like the perfect remedy for that. It’s a chance to start all over again. A chance to wipe clean everything that was wrong with yesterday so that today is all shiny and new and “fresh with no mistakes in it”.
The way we were
Technically, we can do this at any moment in our lives, but New Years always seems like a good excuse to change and improve ourselves. It’s exciting because everyone seems to be doing it at the same time. There’s an energy in the air full of resolutions and hope. People everywhere begin to believe they can make their dreams come true, even if only for a moment. That’s important. It’s also important to remember that we don’t really need to know what’s going to happen next for us.
Something blissful this way comes
In a weird way I’ve always known what I wanted to do with my life. My wants have changed several times, but I always had some sort of plan to get where I wanted to go. First I wanted to be an artist, then an actor, then I was sure I was going to be a writer. Now I have no idea what I want. This made me feel lost for awhile and terrified that I didn’t have a plan. I felt like a failure and that I was letting people and myself down. But now I realize that I don’t need to know what my next chapter will be. I never could have predicted the things that happened to me last year. I met my half sister for the first time. She moved in with me and now I’ll know her for the rest of my life. I went to Chicago for the first time and got to see Lady Gaga in concert. And I started this blog. This little blog that came to me one day because I needed an outlet, a way of expressing myself to the world.
There’s no way I could’ve predicted any of those things would happen and I won’t be able to predict what’s in store for me this upcoming year. But that’s okay. I don’t want to know. That’s part of the adventure, the fun. It’ll be a bit scary at times of course. We’re taught to plan and make goals, but sometimes it’s better to just let life introduce itself to you.
I don’t know about you, but I’m going to try my darnedest to relax and just float my way through this year. As long as I can make rent, put food on my table, am in reasonably good health, and have people who care about me I think I’ll be just fine. Those are all the tools I need. The rest of my life will slowly introduce itself to me and being the polite little boy that I am, I’ll just have to introduce myself to it too.
Enjoy the beginning of your New Year, New Life, New Adventure.